Jennifer Saake had one goal in life from the tender age of three: motherhood . She grew up dreaming of raising eight children. By the time she married her college sweetheart in 1992, Rick and Jenni planned on at least four kids by both birth and adoption.

But dreams and reality don't always mesh. Chronic illness, the diagnosis of infertility, recurrent miscarriages and many unsuccessful attempts to adopt, overshadowed the Saake's honeymoon years with grief. As anguish and depression set in, Jenni struggled to find value in a life much different from the one she had planned. She became angry with God, bitter and disconnected from the world around her, even entertaining thoughts of suicide for a season.

My soul is in anguish. How long, O LORD, how long? …I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.
Psalm 6:3-6

As medical realities of infertility raised ethical and moral dilemmas, the Saakes floundered in a see of overwhelming options. Unanswered prayers for physical healing cast shadows of doubt upon the faith Jennifer had carried in her heart since youth. Not only was the future she had imagined in question, but the past upon which she had build her foundation was shaken to the core as well!

Though Jenni often felt mistreated and abandoned by God, He ultimately proved Himself faithful to carry the Saakes through these painful years. From personal experience, Jenni wants every woman still struggling in such dark waters of grief to know, “You are not alone!” God opened Jennifer's eyes to the incredible reality of His love and His true understanding of her anguish. By facing of the death of His only Child to pay the price of her eternal adoption, Jenni realized that God went to much greater lengths to build His family than any crisis she would ever know as she struggled to grow her own.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
Psalm 40:2

The Lord used the Saakes to launch Hannah's Prayer Ministries where Jenni served on the Board of Directors 1995-2003 and now carries the title of director emeritus. After the joy of watching HP blossom from a tiny local support group into an international ministry reaching tens of thousands of hurting families, the Lord allowed Jenni to fulfill a long-held desire by using her infertility and loss experiences to write Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage and Adoption Loss (Nav Press, May 2005).

Following ten years and ten losses, the Saakes are inexpressibly thankful for the two living children God has added to their family. While motherhood is a blessing Jennifer does not take for granted, she knows that her value as a woman does not come from her reproductive nor parenting abilities, but in Christ alone. “Even if you can't feel God right now, He is here. He does love you and He does care. It's ok to be angry with Him; He's big enough to handle everything you can throw at Him.”

Jenni invites you to grab a cup of hot tea and get to know her. Put up your feet and take a peak at excerpts from Hannah's Hope or browse through some of the books that line the shelves of Jenni's personal library. You are welcome to read some of Jenni's thoughts and articles and stay informed about Jenni's speaking engagements and future writing plans by signing up for email updates.

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted…
Psalm 34:18

All scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.